My 1st day of work :(

Ok, I'll try and not be dramatic! I am only working 2 hours a week, after all, but the very idea of working breaks my heart. I will need to find something full time or at least with enough time to provide benefits come late spring and in the meantime I am slowly, reluctantly searching for that elusive, ideal job. I've got a few scenarios in my head that would be just perfect and while everything logical says I should be less than hopeful, I'm holding out for the impossible! What can I say? I'm an idealist. That, and I've seen God work a miracle or two.

Starting this week, I'll be working as an intervention teacher/tutor for a small group of students who are academically at risk right here in the city where we live. It worked out perfectly for me to work so close to home and have a very trusted friend who lives on the way to the library (where I'll work) watch Kyle one of those hours on Tuesday while Rudy covers the other hour on Thursday. It's local, didn't require much child care, and ends in March and therefore not too much of a commitment. I took the job trusting that it could lead to some future connection. I'll work for the County Office of Education (which happens to be located in our city). I think it's a good thing to be employed by them as they oversee all district schools in the area and could therefore be a huge connection to anything open out there. There's a lot more opportunities within the county office as well, and the addition to my resume along with (hopefully) positive letters of rec will be an asset for future employment.

I'm looking forward to working with kids again and doing what I love. Of course, now I realize it is only my second love. Nothing could compare to being a mom. So I'm finding myself trying to dust the teacher cobwebs off in my brain and get serious about doing a really good job. We're doing tons of assessments the first day and have loads of paperwork to document our progress since we are a federally funded program and have large gains to make. We will end our program in March with a post assessment and I'll want that to be the best it can be for all our sakes.

I'm thankful I've been able to stay home with Kyle for almost 6 months without ANY interruption or distraction. This won't be a big deal and I'm really not complaining, but it does mark the beginning of having work creep into a place I think is sacred and I'm sad to do anything that takes me away from my boy. Realistically speaking, this will probably make me a better mom. I know having time away and getting a mental break from the daily routine really will be a good thing.

So I've packed Shmu's bag and his little suitcase of toys to take to his babysitter. It's adorable. I'll try and hold back the tears... :)