JHM

Our little Jonathan left us two years ago today. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of him and mourn our loss, but this is the hardest day of all. Today we relive the nightmare and feel the shock, the pain, the depression, the hurt and anger. We remember every gritty detail and have to try and force our minds away from several images and memories. Yes, it's a painful day. The worst, actually.

Thanks to Michelle watching the boys, Rudy and I got to spend part of the morning at the cemetery. It's too painful and personal to even try to write here, but we have developed several traditions we feel are special and honor our son. GG always helps us in that effort and her card and gift to Jonathan brought on a flood of tears. We left part of the gift at the grave. Thanks, GG. You have blessed us so much with your love and understanding.

We knew this would be a painful day so we decided early on that we'd spend the rest of it doing something fun as a family. Instead of heading straight home after church, we took a picnic lunch to our new, favorite park. In honor of Jonathan, we played, laughed and loved as a family. Although there were only 2 boys riding around on their bikes/cars, Jonathan was very much with us. I think he would have liked this place.

 The "bumply bumps!"

Stop lights, parking lots, and gas stations... as well as hills, bridges and tunnels make this children's bike park a huge hit.

Gavie.

Ru skated around a ton and then disappeared. It took us a while to figure out where he went. Then we looked up! :)

I always see Jonathan in between them. 

So we pull ourselves together and enjoy each other believing that one day we'll see our second son again.We love and miss you Jonathan. Always. 

Happy Birthday, Grammie!

This past week we celebrated Grammie's birthday! Twice, actually. I love these pictures we took at my parents' house on her actual birthday.

Kyle still loves blowing out everyone else's candles for them...

Then, we celebrated again today with the whole family with a lunch at Rutebegorz. Yum!!!

So thankful for a beautiful (inside and out) mother who blesses our lives so much! 

Happy birthday, Momma.

Summer is Here!

Granted, I've been on my summer break for almost a month now, but this week felt especially summerish. Not only are we going through a little heat wave, but we've started doing summery things. Our church's vacation bible school began this week. While I'm volunteering in the recreation department, Kyle attends the preschool program and Gavin either goes to the nursery or hangs out with me. In the afternoons, we go to Kyle's swim lessons. (Since all our pools are outdoors and the marine layer keeps us pretty cool till noon, afternoon swim sessions are a must! Learned that lesson last year.)
Some photos of the week:

Rec time! I took a picture of this game because I MUST remember how to play it! It was a GENIUS game.

Swim time!! Kyle was both nervous and excited!

Other events this week included my first ever book club night at Alta. I got a group of "mommy of boys" friends together to read some books related to raising our boys and the mother-son relationship. So fun!!
We also celebrated my mom's birthday. More on that in another post!

Happy Summer!

An Uncle Randy Visit!

Uncle Randy was passing through town and stopped for a visit. We loved seeing him. We always love seeing family. I love how excited everyone (Ru, myself, and Kyle) get the minute we hear the news that someone is coming! It really is such a highlight. I love that Kyle gets absolutely giddy whenever family is around. This kid loves family... and that warms my heart so much.

Gavin's 1st Trip to the Zoo

We were invited to a birthday party for my friend Tiffany's son Jalen. We rode on the mini train for the party and then our families all entered the zoo together. Since Rudy couldn't come, I was thankful my parents were up for joining us. During the drive down to San Diego, I sat in between the boys and entertained them. Fortunately, we kept the crying to a minimum. Love those car rides!

At the train station, Gavie got lots of love from Darcy and Emerie).

Riding the train.

With Lexi,  Emerie, and Kylie.

Kyle's favorite thing about the zoo were the sky buckets that take you from one end of the park to the other. Since it's a big zoo, this was quite a ride.

The airport is close to the zoo, and while up here Kyle was so happy to spot a GG plane that was close by!! Look at his face!

 Darc, Tiff and I (childhood friends who went to Zoo School here way back when) now with our own kids! :)

More Family Pictures

My sister snapped a few pictures of the family a while back. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to get the four of us (especially the 3 boys!) to all smile at the camera at the same time! It just didn't happen. ;) We cherish the photos we do get though, because as we all know, time flies and these days are just too precious.

Kyle

Gavin

The boys.

The family.

Father's Day Love.

Pictures speak a 1,000 words... this is Rudy, the proud, madly-in-love, awesome father of my children...

 

:) I love you, Rudy. Happy Father's Day!!!

Bedtime Silliness!

Auntie Michelle was with us one evening as we were putting the kids to bed and snapped a few shots of the boys being silly. They both love wrestling in our bed and just giggle and squeal until we finally have to break it up and send the boys to bed! Rudy is a wrestling kind of a guy. Good thing his boys have followed after him. :)

Gavin absolutely loves Kyle.

Kyle adores his brother, too. :)

Gavin - 9 months

I've thought it all along, but now I will say what all mothers say... Wow, where has the time gone?! Nine months is a big deal. He's grown so much and is really such a part of our family, it's getting hard to remember what life was like without him. :) Gavin loves to be with us and involved in whatever we are doing. He delights in being with his brother and tries to play/touch/grab anything Kyle is playing with. Sometimes that goes well and sometimes it doesn't. Ever since his 8 month post, he's been standing constantly. He also really likes to walk while holding our hands. He's started cruising, too. It seemed he "almost crawled" for a few months, so maybe he'll "almost walk" for a few months, too. Either way, seeing him upright all the time makes me wonder where my little baby went. He's precious beyond words. We adore his joyful, curious, and easy-to-please attitude. 

Gav's 9 month pics show him playing side-by-side with his big brother today:

At 9 months, Gavin:

• weighs 16 pounds 7.8 ounces and is 27.27 inches tall
• has 4 teeth
• really hugs you when you pick him up, and pats your back
• pulls to a stand/beginning to cruise around
• loves to walk while holding our hands
• squeals with delight while riding in his little red car
• loves watching Kyle
• wants to skip the puree stuff and eat our food instead
• enjoys being read to
• loves Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See, by Bill Martin Jr.
• loves taking baths (especially with Kyle)
• dislikes car rides
• babbles 
• lights up/smiles/crawls super fast to Daddy when he comes home! :)

Happy 9 months, Gavin!!!

Our Little Patient

Kyle did it! He made it through over 30 hours of not eating with 14 of them not drinking anything either. (!!)Yesterday, while on a popsicle/clear liquid diet, he did really well (he doesn't eat much anyway!). However, this morning and while waiting for over 3 hours in the OR prep room, he was crying and begging us for water. It was honestly the hardest part of this whole thing. It broke our hearts to hold his tiny little body and  repeatedly have to tell him he couldn't even have a sip of water. At first, he was well entertained by the movable T.V. and PBS Kids station. Check out the little patient in all his adorableness...

Then, as the time dragged on, he got more and more hungry and weak. We (Rudy, my mom and I) all took turns distracting him. During the last hour he just wanted me to hold him.

 

It pained us so much to hear him cry for water and even though I knew it would be all over soon, each minute seemed to drag. It was during this time that my heart felt so heavy for the mothers out there who hear their children complain about their hunger and yet don't know when or from where their next meal will come. I hurt for them and their children. I think the past two days have taught us all to be thankful for the food we can put on our table. (Rudy and I didn't eat much of anything because we didn't want Kyle to have to see us eating, so we were feeling hunger pains, too!) I hope Kyle will continue to appreciate and enjoy food more.

Finally, Kyle was wheeled away and just as we had to separate, he calmly said, "Good-bye Mom." It was so hard to turn and walk away, but my heart swelled with pride at what an adorable, brave son I have. He was so miserable but so tough. We were really proud of him.

After a short procedure, we were called back in and received the report that his colon looked great! The doctor took a biopsy just in case, but didn't see anything concerning. So, we have some other strategies to help with the symptoms he's been experiencing. Hopefully, we'll get some weight on him and keep the food moving through his body like it should. 

After quite a long time resting, he finally woke up and immediately wanted some water and apple juice. We were only too happy to give him anything he wanted.  Here he is recovering next to his Grammie.

Unfortunately, after stopping for food on the way home, Kyle lost his lunch and 3 containers of apple juice in his car seat. :( The doctor warned us that could happen. He seems to be doing well now and keeping it all in. So glad to have this behind us and thankful to be able to make Kyle a big breakfast tomorrow morning! 

Thank you for your prayers, texts, and calls. :)