Kyle's Baby

Shall we try this shirt on again? It says, "I'm the big brother!" Kyle calls it his "baby shirt." And I promise he's not flashing gang signs, but trying to point to his shirt!! :)

Kyle is proud of his new baby on the way! We had decided not to tell him anything for as long as possible... but wouldn't you know it, he figured it out on his own. One day pretty early on in my pregnancy, he lifted up my shirt and pointed to my tummy saying with total confidence, "That's my baby brother in there!" I was shocked but then after thinking about it I realized that all the similar signs were there from months prior and I know he's an intuitive guy. I was (am still) very sick. After a week or so of me laying down all the time, eating crackers in bed every morning, and "having the spits" (throwing up), he apparently put two and two together. He did ask if the baby was the one from heaven. After telling him that no, his baby brother was still in heaven and God gave us a new one, he seemed to take it all in with a measure of caution. 

Sadly, we see that his excitement isn't the same as before. He is guarded and almost trying not to fall in love too fast, like he's not sure if this one will stay either. :( Maybe he senses that from us, too, as we try to not talk about the baby in front of him. In a primitive way, he really gets it. I still can't believe how many people underestimate how much he understood with Jonathan. But I guess lots of adults underestimate just how much kids pick up on in general. In any case, we're sad he's lost a bit of innocence and fearless love. 

However, in spite of his caution, he's been showing his excitement in his own way and gives "his baby" lots of cuddles and kisses. One of the cute things he's said happened during a somewhat regular cuddle session with the baby before bed. I let him kiss and lay next to my belly button (where he thinks the baby is going to come out!). When I told him it was time for bed and went to pull down my shirt, he told me,"No, Mommy, keep this up so the baby can come out!" The next 6 months will probably seem like forever to him!! We truly wanted to spare him the wait and whatnot, but I guess that was not to be. 

So he's looking forward to when his mommy feels better. And he's excited to learn whether he'll get a baby brother or a baby sister. We've decided to find out this time! I have to admit, it was fun not knowing with Kyle, but something about our loss makes us really look forward to finding out and bonding even more with this one.  We find out in 4 1/2 more weeks! :)